That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize