is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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