in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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