You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
