made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
