My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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