i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Can Purell be used as lube?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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