what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
