I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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