if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
