The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize