Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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