it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
