the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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