I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
