I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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