Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I just found puke in my bra..
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm at about main and main street
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
