Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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