I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
