does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
