What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
My vagina just recognized that song.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
