As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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