If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Small penises have feelings too.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
