Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
