I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
