i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize