I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
