Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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