The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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