Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Ketchup is God's man juice
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Randomize
