U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
