We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
