He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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