An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
