He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
