Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
