I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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