i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
