she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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