ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Holy shit dude........stairs
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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