Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize