So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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