Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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