Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
