and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Green mimosas i think yes
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize