White coat. Heels.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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