Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
