remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
