Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
