So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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