when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
the day after is always just damage control
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize