Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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