The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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