well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize