im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
