i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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