My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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