Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
