i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
