i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
