When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
